Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Awful Church Music

Ever sit there and hear "Gather Us In", or "On Eagle's Wings" or, as I heard just the past Sunday, the politically correct version of "Whatsover You Do" and just wish there were ice picks with the missalettes so that you could damage your own ear drums? Me too. Then join the Society for a Moratorium on the Music ofMarty Haugen and David Haas. http://www.mgilleland.com/music/moratorium.htm


a thorn in the pew said...

Wow. Yes I do. I have a non-denominational friend that said, after hearing "Gather Us In"..."that's even too hippy for me!" Nuf said. Leave the silly music for Barney and The Wiggles. We need substance. Love the cartoon :) It made me smile after a rough morning.

Paul Nichols said...

Glad to be of assistance!

Sanctus Belle said...

Love that cartoon! But what about all the folks who LOOOOVE that music?? I can't stand the sentimental slop that passes for music at Mass...(sigh)

Anita Moore said...

Love that cartoon! But what about all the folks who LOOOOVE that music??

I echo Sanctus Belle's statement about the cartoon; I posted it on my own blog myself (fully crediting its creator, of course).

As for the folks who loooooooove that "music," somebody on another blog I can't recall at the moment had a great idea: poll the parishioners on whether they prefer "ancient traditional music" (e.g., Gregorian chant); "traditional music" (e.g., Haugen-Haas-Alstott-Farrell) and "new music." Then, between the ancient traditional and traditional voters, you'll be able to show statistical evidence that the majority of the parish prefers traditional music!

Anonymous said...

Everybody Sing!
Gather Us In

Here in this place, our comfortable parish,
All of the statues carried away,
See in each face a vacuous visage,
Brought here by guilt or by R.C.I.A.

Gather us in, by Beammer or Hummer,
Gather us in, so we can feel good,
Come to us now in this barren Zen temple,
With only a shrub and an altar of wood.

We are the young, our morals a mystery,
We are the old, who couldn't care less,
We have been warned throughout all of history,
But we enjoy this liturgical mess.

Gather us in, our radical pastor,
Gather us in, our unveiled nun,
Call to us now, with guitars and bongos,
Hang up your cellphones and join in the fun!

Here we will take some wine and some water,
Whether it changes, we really don't care.
But when the Sign of Peace comes, our pastor,
Jumps from the altar and hugs like a bear.

Gather us in, the privileged and snobby,
Gather us in, the liberal elite,
Help us to form our personal Credo,
Give us a choice between white bread and wheat.


Paul Nichols said...

Excellent work, Anonymous - I'll bet if you sang that, half the people wouldn't even notice!

John C. Hathaway said...

Someday I'm making a website of alternative lyrics. One I will outright sing, when the "hymn" comes up at Mass, is:
"One bread, one body, one stupid hymn. . . . "